


Opinion of the Masses

by quartzhanzo



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, I'll add more tags as I see fit, Intimacy, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Self Confidence Issues, So much angst, a very indulgent fic, and writing, but here i am, im bad at tagging, mage inquisitor, not very explicit, qunari inquisitor, self doubt, sex later maybe, so much gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:20:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22029223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartzhanzo/pseuds/quartzhanzo
Summary: Dorian was quick to want to prove Mother Giselle wrong, but maybe she was right all along; regardless of his intentions, the opinion of the masses matters a great deal.
Relationships: Adaar/Dorian Pavus, Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Male Adaar/Dorian Pavus, Male Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus
Kudos: 16





	1. Cowardice

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to my incredibly self-indulgent fic. 
> 
> Heads up: The title may change, the summary may change, I'm only writing a few chapters ahead so I'm still unsure of where this is going if it goes anywhere, or how long it will be.
> 
> Also, I'm not a learned writer, I just craved more Dorian/Inquisitor Adaar fics, so I decided to make one!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

The Inquisitor’s quarters were still dark when Dorian saw fit to sneak out. His only saving grace to find his clothes and the top of the stairs without falling down was the faint glow of dying embers in the fireplace, ever so faintly outlining the objects in the room.

It felt wrong to leave like this, but even more wrong to stay. He couldn’t let this turn into something more, it wasn’t fair to Adaar. Perhaps Mother Giselle was right after all, it would look bad. He was ashamed to think it, but the Inquisitor was lucky to be respected as much as he is despite his lineage; Thedas has always been so bloody divided that it was a miracle that a Qunari of all people was it’s best hope of uniting. Not to say the pair wouldn’t be an excellent example of peaceful unification, but again, the line had been drawn centuries ago and Adaar was already barely keeping his balance on it, a balance crucial to the survival of the Inquisition, and to the survival of all of Thedas. 

Every part of him wanted to climb back into the bed and wrap himself around Adaar’s warm body but ultimately that wasn’t fair to Adaar, this whole thing wasn’t fair to him, but better to end it before it got too far. Dorian knew he wasn’t worth the risk of the Inquisitor losing respect, or loyalty for being intimate with a ‘vint’ regardless of his good intentions. He felt selfish for even thinking he could allow anything more to happen, any more feelings to blossom.

\---

  
  


Dorian avoids Adaar for days, finding unlikely places to conduct his daily studies for fear that the Inquisitor would swing by the library to talk about what happened. He knew he wouldn’t be able to lie to Adaar about his feelings, not yet, it still hurt too much. Plus the Inquisitor might look like a big brute but Dorian was willing to bet that his puppy dog eyes and pure gold heart have gotten him many places in life.

So instead of dealing with his feelings, every day he gets up early and hauls his books off to a new place to set up the days work, only daring to go back to the library at nightfall. The first day he sits on a chair in the corner of the kitchen, his books stacked on another chair and papers spread on the floor. It was so hot, and loud, and every few moments he felt the cook glaring at him. 

The second day he lugs his stuff up into the hayloft in the stables, a bit more peaceful, however dusty and uncomfortable. He also brought back a lingering scent of manure and straw that night.

The third day he ventured up the ramparts and into one of the vacant towers, vacant for good reason; half the roof was missing. And so he spent the day shivering, struggling to focus on the texts more than he struggled to catch his vellum when strong wintery gusts came through the roof.

On the fourth day, he compromised by going to the Herald’s Rest, loud, and surrounded by the temptation of drink, but warm, and of still air. Plus, he knew Adaar wasn’t a heavy drinker, saving the task for festivities and formalities. He ordered a mug of water, tipped Cabot, and settled on a table in the corner of the second floor. It gave him a narrow view of the entrance if he leaned a few inches to the left, so he wasn’t too worried about his more public location for the day. If someone from the 'Inner Circle' came in, he’d have plenty of warning, and he could zip out the other entrance to the ramparts.

Every few moments when someone opened the door, he’d lean over and inspect, and then go back to his work, it was never anyone to worry about. A few hours in and he’d stopped looking, calling himself paranoid, it was only the end of the afternoon, he decided everyone had better things to do than day drink. But then, one entrance did manage to tear his focus from the thick tome in front of him.

_No way._

“Inquisitor! What a pleasant surprise!” exclaimed a voice from downstairs. The chatter of the tavern had simultaneously quieted down.

“Likewise, Maryden!”

He didn’t quite sound like himself; like he was trying to be as polite and enthusiastic as he always was, but wasn’t quite hitting the mark.

“What can I do for you?” 

That must have been Cabot.

He awaited Adaar’s reply but his voice sank too low for Dorian to hear.

Apparently caught off guard, Cabot’s voice was heard, “Are you sure? I mean, this is me asking, are you sure?”

Adaar’s reply still to low to be heard from upstairs.

“Well, alright then, Inquisitor.”

Dorian heard some shuffling of feet and barstools, then a bottle and glass being set down. Once the usual chatter of the tavern resumed, Dorian saw fit his chance to escape. He knew he’d have to face Adaar eventually but he still wasn’t ready, he didn’t think his heart would permit him to lie about his feelings to Adaar without shattering. He needed more time, more distance, to be able to do what was ultimately in both of their best interests.

Just as he had shifted his weight to stand up, he heard another familiar voice.

“Jeez Boss, you might wanna slow down on the- Maker! Is that Alvarado’s?!” Varric sighed, and Dorian heard another barstool slide across the floor, “Believe me, Boss, you do not wanna mess with that stuff, I drank it on a dare once, and I- Why do we even have a bottle of that? Nevermind, don’t answer that. Let’s order something else that’s a little less fit to melt through stone, yeah? And then you can tell me what’s got you trying to drink yourself to an early grave.”

Dorian sunk back into his chair, _What’s wrong with Adaar? What’s got him like this? Something’s very wrong_. Irrational thoughts started racing through his head, he stopped to take a deep breath. _You’re better than this Dorian_ , he told himself. But in the end, he decided he could chastise himself later for eavesdropping.

He heard nothing from downstairs for a few moments, but then the silence was finally broken by Varric, “So? Should I start guessing? Dog die? Lost an arm-wrestling match to the Bull? Oh! I know! You’re adopted! Or…ohh.”

Adaar finally spoke, “I just don’t understand. I thought we had quelled all concerns.”

_Was it another war table thing? Did we lose an important ally?_ Dorian wished he had more to go on, _Come on Adaar, let it out._

“Maybe it’s just me, well of course it is!” The Inquisitor lowered his voice, “Look at me, a Qunari, and a fool to ignore centuries of history, a fool to think that it was possible.”

_Aha! So, who has a long-standing beef with Qunari?_ Dorian thought hard for a moment, _Just about all of Thedas. But who would be so valuable to the Inquisition that losing them has Adaar in shambles? I’ll personally hunt them down if I must, no one gets to hurt my Inquisitor like this._

_My? Oh, Maker._ Dorian put his head into his hands, _This is going to be harder than I thought. Why does my heart betray me so?_ Dorian’s mind raced, he decided maybe it was better to talk to Adaar sooner rather than later, as the time he thought would help his feelings diminished had only seemed to make his fondness for the Inquisitor grow. _If I just make a clean break. Maybe I’ll stop feeling so- Maybe this aching- maybe it’ll stop hurting so much, a little quicker._

Dorian’s self-pity party was interrupted when Varric had finally formulated a response downstairs, “Listen, Vints versus Qunari is old news.”

_What?_

Varric continued, “There’s gotta be more to it than you being Qunari; if that were the issue, he never would have joined.”

_What?!_

“I know for a fact that it ain’t you, Boss. Don’t you dare think yourself a fool, or go on thinking that you’re anything less than a kind, humble, strong and dashing leader.”

“Thanks, Varric, but I-”

“I’m not done, Boss! Anyways, Dorian can go fuck himself for treating you like anything less than that! No matter what the problem is, you don’t do that to people!”

The rest of the conversation was drowned out by the blood pumping in Dorian’s ears, and his heart fit to beat right out of his chest. 


	2. You'll Catch your Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit short but I liked where it ended.
> 
> Extra thanks for making it this far! :)
> 
> It's bad, it's angsty, and dramatic but here it is anyways. Chapter 2!

It was dark now. Dorian had spent the last few hours in the half-roofed tower after fleeing The Herald’s Rest. _what an ironic name,_ he thought, _The only time I’ve seen the Herald of Andraste there, he was far from at rest._

Adaar’s and Varric’s conversation had evolved into unrelated storytelling, mixed with some sort of drinking game, by the time Dorian had finally gotten his wits enough to escape. He’d grabbed what he could of his books and crept up to the third-floor exit, immensely grateful that Cole wasn’t up there as he so often was; he wasn’t sure he could handle his current thoughts laid out in front of him aloud. He didn’t fault Cole for his mind-reading (or whatever he wanted to call it), his heart was in the right place, and he wasn’t too sure if the kid could even control it. Maybe one day it would do him good to go see Cole about it, help him sort through the mess that was his mind. 

He snapped back to the present, he was freezing, his hands and feet had long since gone numb, and his face was well on its way. Still, he sat on the cold stone floor, knees to his chest, just staring at the sky through the hole in the roof. He wondered how it could be a cloudless night and still be so ruthlessly windy. He didn’t even care to move somewhere warmer, he deserved this. How could he have taken his own feelings into account, to do what was easier for himself? How selfish to assume how Adaar might feel. Whether Dorian thought he should, or not, Adaar cared about him too. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he eventually brought himself to stand, uneasy on numb feet, the rest of his skin burning from the cold. He could feel the frozen tears and snot, heavy on his mustache. 

_What a pathetic sight I must be,_ he thought, _but I cannot let myself catch my death just to avoid having that conversation._ And so, he slowly gathered up his books, vellum, and quills he had unceremoniously dropped to the floor earlier, and left the tower.

The wind was stronger outside, and it threatened to blow the vellum right from his arms, he made a move toward the nearest staircase to get to lower, calmer air. Once he had descended he found himself back outside the Tavern, the front door, not the coward’s door. 

It still sounded lively inside, which meant it couldn’t have been too late, Dorian figured, no more than an hour or two past midnight, perhaps? He stared at the door for a moment, wondering if he should just go inside and get it over with. But he didn’t really know what he wanted the outcome to be, he needed more time to sort through his feelings properly, this time taking Adaar’s into account too. Not to mention he was far from presentable. He decided tomorrow would be better and hurried past the door just in time for it to open behind him. He stopped in his tracks, feeling like he’d just been caught doing something bad. Would that be far from the truth? _Probably just a random soldier._ He made the mistake of looking back, it was Varric. _Shit._

“Dorian.” Varric said flatly.

“Oh, Varric! I, um-” Dorian started.

“Look like shit” Varric finished for him.

“O-kay.” He didn’t possess the strength at that moment for what would have normally been an undoubtedly witty response.

“What are you doing out here?”

“Freezing to death soon, I’d imagine.” he attempted a quip.

“Listen,” Varric started, all seriousness, “Stop toying with him, either get on your big boy pants and talk to him properly or leave and don’t ever go near him again.”

“Ah, uh, yes. That. I-”

“I don’t care what excuses you have. He’s the Inquisitor, he’s my friend, and he’s spiraling. Thanks to you. Y’know, he’s got enough hurt to deal with on a good day? The fact that it took this long is a testament to his strength, his leadership. And then you show up and-”

“You think I don’t know all this?!” Dorian interrupted, his voice cracked, “I-I tried to make it easier, for him, for both of us. I see now that it was cowardice. I thought maybe it wouldn’t hurt so bad if I let it just slip away.”

“It being?”

“Us.” Dorian paused for a moment, “But I just fucked it up as expected, I don’t know what I’m meant to do?” He was openly sobbing at this point, hands shielding his face from view, and his eyes fixed on his shoes.

“Maker, Dorian. Can you slow the fuck down a second and explain a bit better?”

“I saw you guys, you know, in the tavern earlier. If I had realized it would have hurt so- I mean, but what was I to do? I wish it had never gotten this far. I’m selfish, greedy, a no-good ‘Vint’.” Dorian took a deep breath, “I started to care, far more than I expected to. And then that night we had, it was so wonderful. I knew I had to stop it all before I brought him down with me.”

“Dorian, he’d never-”

“He’s too polite to agree, but, Mother Giselle was right; The opinions of the masses are what matters right now if we’ve any hope of getting the Inquisition strong enough for Corypheus. At first, I thought that we- us, was harmless fun. Something to help the Inquisitor relax, unwind, but that night, I realized, I love him, Varric. And I thought about it and knew that if I was to do truly right by him, I must let him go. Plus, he can do so much better than a Tevinter Mage, he deserves better.”

“Buddy.” Varric’s voice was soft now.

“I only wish I had had the courage to actually formally talk to him about it, I didn’t realize I caused so much-” Dorian looked up at the speechless dwarf, and then over his shoulder at the door behind him. Leaning in the doorframe, was a stunned, if not inebriated, Inquisitor Adaar.

“I- H-how long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You made it!
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> Chapter 3 soon :)
> 
> tumblr: quartzhanzo.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @quartzhanzo


	3. A Nice Warm Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3!
> 
> I'm amazed anyone can stand my writing for this long! Thank you!
> 
> Be prepared for a lot of dialogue and short poorly structured paragraphs.

Neither of them spoke on the way back into the castle, Dorian shivering, and Adaar barely able to walk a straight line, but Maker did he try. Dorian still was surprised at how well Adaar was keeping it together for a man that just drank what was presumably an unholy amount of alcohol.

Adaar led them to the steps at the back of the throne room and sat down. He motioned for Dorian to sit down between him and a large flaming brazier.

“You’re shivering.” Adaar noted once Dorian had sat.

“Oh really? That’s odd I hadn’t noticed,” Dorian said facetiously, “You’re drunk.” 

Adaar chuckled and then reached out to cup Dorian’s cheek but Dorian turned away. Both of their faces bore pained expressions.

“I’m sorry.” Dorian sighed, he folded his hands together between his legs, “I never meant- I thought that it would be easier, for both of us, but it seems that I care for you a great deal too much for any of this to be easy.”

“You do?” Adaar asked quietly.

Dorian finally looked at him and replied in earnest, “I do.”

“I do too.”

And then the moment was ruined by a terrible coughing fit from Dorian. He was thankful that no snot had shot out of his nose, he didn’t think he could bear a display any more embarrassing than his appearance was already giving.

“Maker, I’m sorry Adaar!” Dorian wheezed, finally beginning to catch his breath.

“Don’t you dare do any more apologizing right now. How long were you out in the cold? Why? Y’know what? It doesn’t matter. You need a healer. I’d try but I never was adept in those areas of magic, and honestly, not sober enough to risk trying.” Adaar finally stopped to breathe.

“It’s quite alright,” Dorian sniffled, “It can wait until morning.” And then he sneezed, and to his horror, shot snot directly the elbow of his robes. He looked at Adaar, mortified. Adaar looked back, his face going through stages from horror to amusement.

“Well…” Adaar started clearly biting his tongue, “Time for you to get into a nice warm bed at least.” He started to stand up but had made little progress when he keeled right over and landed flat on his face.

“Adaar!” Dorian got to his feet.

“Perhaps,” Adaar started, his face still buried in the carpet, “Perhaps it is also time for me to get into a nice warm bed.”

* * *

Dorian attempted to pull Adaar into a sitting position but he wouldn’t budge. He grabbed a hold of his hand and pulled gently instead.

“Adaar?”

“Mmm?”

“I know your schedule is terribly booked right now, but could you get up so I can get you to bed? See, I’d carry you, but I’m afraid you’ve caught me on an off day.” 

The Inquisitor remained still for a few seconds, and then abruptly rolled onto his back, startling Dorian.

“I’d pay to see that!” Adaar laughed.

“I don’t doubt that for a second. Now, tut-tut, up you get.” Dorian chided.

“Yes, dear.” Adaar cooed sarcastically.

Then Dorian had another brief coughing fit, blessedly snot free. Adaar finally stood up, looked over at Dorian and then, with far too much alcohol-fueled panic, gasped, “What about you?”

_ And here I thought he could handle his liquor,  _ Thought Dorian, amused at the Inquisitor’s currently declining virtue, though he’d never admit it.

Dorian finally addressed the worried look on Adaar’s face, “It is no matter! I may be sick but I am  _ clearly _ the more capable one to put himself to bed tonight.” He looked up and down Adaar pointedly.

Adaar crossed his arms and pouted, “I’m capable.”

“Uh-huh.” 

“Yeah!” Adaar started walking towards his quarters but stumbled against the brazier, getting rust and soot all over his pants.

Dorian rushed over to hold him steady, “Did you think you’d out drunk Varric? Because it seems that the effects are finally catching up to you.”

“Bah!”

Dorian raised his eyebrows and nodded, deciding not to rebuke. He grabbed a firm hold of Adaar’s arm and guided the wobbly Inquisitor up the steps and through his quarter’s door.

“I would also be most grateful if you could try to go steadily enough as to not knock me over the banister,” Dorian said eyeing the railing nervously. “Hands and knees if you have to.”

Thankfully the Inquisitor did not have to, until the final flight of stairs. 

Once they were both safely up, Dorian pulled Adaar to his feet and to his bed, onto which, the Inquisitor immediately collapsed.

“Aren’t you going to put on your nightclothes?”

He was met with only a soft whine.

“Or at least take off your boots?” Dorian asked, quieter. He resigned from trying to get an answer and sighed.  _ Can’t let you ruin these nice sheets, now can I? _

Dorian grabbed one of Adaar’s boots and pulled to no avail.  _ It is remarkable the semblance you bear to a sack of potatoes sometimes.  _

He pulled again, bracing himself with his food against the bed. He had nearly left the ground when the boot finally came free and the mage stumbled backwards onto his rear. He stood up and looked at Adaar, blissfully unaware. 

_ Alright, round two.  _ He grabbed the other boot firmly but before he could brace himself, Adaar suddenly rolled onto his side and yanked his feet up, bringing Dorian with them. 

The mage landed in an ungraceful heap next to Adaar, “Andraste’s tits!” he exclaimed to himself. 

To add insult to injury, just as Dorian attempted to get up, Adaar’s massive arm wrapped around him instinctively and pulled him close.

“Um,” Dorian whispered, “Adaar?”

Adaar moaned, grunted, and then rolled a bit more onto Dorian, sealing his fate.

“Well Shit.”

Dorian tried to wriggle out but any time he had made any progress the Inquisitor had whined and pulled him back. His efforts waned exponentially each time; he had found the little noises endearing, and it the incredible warmth Adaar possessed didn’t hurt. Dorian found himself leaning in more to savor the heat he surely wouldn’t find in his own bed. 

He argued with himself briefly,  _ Should I go? Surely we still have some things to work out.  _ And,  _ But I’m cold and sick, and he’s just so warm. He wouldn’t want me to go climb into a cold bed and delay the healing process.  _ Then,  _ Won’t this make it more awkward tomorrow?  _ But,  _ Maybe I can wait it out until he moves again. Plus, just a few moments at least to warm up can’t hurt. _

The pros and cons droned on in his head for a while, and then before he could make the decision, he drifted off to sleep.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Chapter 4 will be a bit longer to come out than the first three. Still figuring out the details. The first three were just word vomit basically XD
> 
> tumblr: quartzhanzo.tumblr.com  
> twitter: @quartzhanzo

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Chapter 2 will be up likely within the next couple days, I've got it mostly on paper, just need to flesh it out and edit enough to be presentable. I know it's not the most professional system but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> I can only dream of having a way with words like some of the brilliant minds on here, I tend to ramble. 
> 
> ANYWAYS. Thank you so much for staying this long!! More soon!
> 
> Tumblr: https://quartzhanzo.tumblr.com/  
> Twitter: @quartzhanzo


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